he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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