Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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