Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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