Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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