4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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