She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize