I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize