No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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