If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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