her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you had me at cake vodka
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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