Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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