I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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