They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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