just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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