I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize