I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize