I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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