my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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