I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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