i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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