nut hugger
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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