but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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