What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize