I haven't been this sober since birth.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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