i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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