ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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