Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
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May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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