my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize