We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize