Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
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Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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