Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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