Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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