watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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