hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize