I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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