the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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