Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize