I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize