She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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