giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I want a musical about memes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize