It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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