We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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