He had one of those small greek statue penises
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize