The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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