I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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