i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize