All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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