Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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