i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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