I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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